"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be."
scrolled across this quote on pinterest and it couldn't be more applicable to what i'm going through right now. i've always had an image of how my life was supposed to be. in my last relationship, i could have sworn up and down i was going to marry my boyfriend, and if you know me you know there's no way on God's earth that will ever happen. i was going to go to school in virginia (which did happen) but i was never going to come back to de. i was going to stay there forever, but now i'm applying to jobs in delaware and looking for apartments. i wasn't supposed to get into OT and i was supposed to keep cheerleading. i wasn't supposed to love my college friends the way i do but they've become more of my family than the people i share blood with. i was supposed to go straight from undergrad to grad school and then get a job just the way everyone does, right? wrong. i was supposed to care about what my family thinks about me not following the "path destined for me" (whatever the hell that is) and becoming much more average than what is expected of me. but i'm like, i have so many plans for what i want to do and lives i want to affect that i'm way more awesome than the frustrated lives you're living. my relationship with God is growing closer through personal experience than the forced religious life you're trying to shove down my throat. and i'm in love with an amazing guy that helps build me up whenever you all beat me the hell down with your expectations and your visions for my happiness. funny how it's supposed to be mine and it's somehow yours right? haha. i don't even want you all to spoil the energy for life i've found through him. point is, my life is my life. and i'm sooo happy with it. i feel free. i'm smiling and dancing and singing with a new joy in my heart that you will never take away. took me 21 years to find it and i won't let it go. the name of the game: I WIN!
